SMILINGGGGGGGGGG

I love this Jesus man.

Hello Susie Shacter.

I just have to remember the crappy one msg that you sent me to make me not cry.

do it do it do it do it.

Ugh Easter Break come on already!!!

My parents are good parents.

I take back everything bad I have ever said about them.

someone has been in my room......its tidied up....and my mum isnt here.

im so drained. 

i hope i fall asleep out of exhaustion. and stop having nightmares from the recurring events of thursday. Everyday i try to forget about it, everyday i get a msg from u having some sort of go at it. Just keeps reminding me of what u did to me that day. 

I just couldnt do it anymore. The panic attacks the passing out, the insults on top of everything else i had to cope with. Not only that I lost all respect for u tonight with what you said to me. I really prayed that you would die a horrible death tonight for putting me through that crap. 

i need sleep now. 

Forgive

I forgive you for what you have done. Whole heartedly accept your apology. When and if you sincerley apologise. When and if you finally see that what you have done was not ok at all. And no amount of  reasoning or justification for your actions absolves u for the abuse and fear u instilled in me on thursday. 

This is why nothing else scares me. Not to even go through it on Monday by myself without u. Nothing scares me anymore. But you. Because that was the first and only time I feared for my life. And even after that, I still was scared for u. I was scared that you were going to do something stupid because I actually thought that you were going to see sense like a normal person with a conscience and see what you did was not ok at any level.

violence against women is never ok. And I cannot believe even for a day that i actually thought what you did was ok. 

But I forgive you. 

I really do.

Apology or no apology.

Justification or no justification.