I finished work on Saturday night wanting to kill someone. With John passing and the bittersweet emotions that were running through my head as I previously had posted, top it off with having to deal with the rantings of R when she was off her head, it definitely was a little too much. As I watched her throw herself around and flop herself over my boss’s lap, smacking people across the head, I felt like I was watching everything in slow motion.
And then it clicked to me.
I am not invincible and I cannot save everyone.
Sure I give everyone that advice, I tell people that it is ok to let someone down once in a while, its ok to not always be there for someone. I mean we can’t be everyone and everywhere 24/7. But the rule never really applied to me, I was the exception in my head. I could save everybody.
No I cannot. And I accept that. Well, I am trying to.
So, all I wanted to do on Saturday night after work was to go home to bed. Of course, instead I went out dancing. Top nights.
On my way home, I was dropping off Troy, my bar manager, banging guy, love him to bits. Talking about life, talking about price. How some people were just not worth the price.
I guess the hard part was pretending. Pretending that I didn’t know, only because I really loved these 2 guys. There were such rad dudes to me, the hurt that I could see on their faces.
And then he said to me
“ It isn’t my job to take care of people’s feelings, I’m there to make the place make money.”
How selfish.
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