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Monday, May 23, 2011
Engagement
Today as I was sitting down and looking over venues to where my best friend should have her engagement party, my phone rang and it was from R. Before I picked it up, I had the sinking feeling that it was about her bf's dad. I was right, he had passed away the night before. However, she surprised me with another set of news.....she was engaged! Oh. My. God. The look on my bf's mother's face as I ran and rambled through her house was priceless. After which, I apologised for being so ecstatic about things.
Engagements.
They are always epic. And if they are not, well, something has gone wrong somewhere boys. The engagement is known as the trial period before the marriage. The marrying of 2 families, the marrying of friends and finally and most importantly, the marrying of tastes between the couple. It all starts with the ring. I have heard of stories where the "wrong" ring in itself has caused a 5 year relationship to go out the window. Girls are easily persuaded that "If he doesn't know what suits me by now, then well, he doesn't know me at all. "
Well this may be true in areas such as her fabourite colour, an engagement ring is a whole new genre in itself. I always firmly believe in the hint dropping of catolouges, or a gentle nudge towards the right assortment whilst you are causally walking down jewellery stores. But if that all seems too tough, then informing your maid of honour to drop hints would definately seal the deal as well.
I turned 24 not too long ago and everyone who knows me well enough know that I hate turning older. A good friend of mine who is my age, decided to go on a date with an older man....he was pushing 50. Obviously, my initial reaction was to be in shock but hey, I really shouldn't judge people.But I couldn't wipe the look off my own face when she told me that he had reached 3rd base.....
So back to looking at engagement party venues.
stay alive and kicking people.
x
Engagements.
They are always epic. And if they are not, well, something has gone wrong somewhere boys. The engagement is known as the trial period before the marriage. The marrying of 2 families, the marrying of friends and finally and most importantly, the marrying of tastes between the couple. It all starts with the ring. I have heard of stories where the "wrong" ring in itself has caused a 5 year relationship to go out the window. Girls are easily persuaded that "If he doesn't know what suits me by now, then well, he doesn't know me at all. "
Well this may be true in areas such as her fabourite colour, an engagement ring is a whole new genre in itself. I always firmly believe in the hint dropping of catolouges, or a gentle nudge towards the right assortment whilst you are causally walking down jewellery stores. But if that all seems too tough, then informing your maid of honour to drop hints would definately seal the deal as well.
I turned 24 not too long ago and everyone who knows me well enough know that I hate turning older. A good friend of mine who is my age, decided to go on a date with an older man....he was pushing 50. Obviously, my initial reaction was to be in shock but hey, I really shouldn't judge people.But I couldn't wipe the look off my own face when she told me that he had reached 3rd base.....
So back to looking at engagement party venues.
stay alive and kicking people.
x
Monday, May 16, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Dear Friends,
Sometimes I get caught up in this whole world that I am being thrusted in that I forget to take the time out to blog and let you in on it. For that I apologise, but trust me, it has been worth your wait.
So, from where I let you in on the last time. I was offered a full time position at Electric Ladyland which I took and had to quit my other job. But it definately came at a price. A price that if someone had told me from the start had existed, I may not have so eagerly taken the offer just like that.
Politics and sabotaging
It did not take long for this to set in. From the first day that I had introduced a new bar scheme into this new work place ( because come on, let's face it. It's what I'm fucking good at), I was met with so much hostility and negativity. Obviously taking the reigns off from someone else that had been there longer, had put me up for the promotion and had always thought that I would be his little lap dog, it did not once occur to me that he would have such a problem with new change being brought in. It all ended with one big screaming match, few complaints to the big boss, alot of snide remarks, public humiliation, and a rumour that he had started spreading that I will never ever forgive him for. If you are reading this, and I hope to god you are, everything that you have worked so hard for in your life, I will take away from you. I am not a hateful person but dear sir, you have brought out the worst in me
Boss
Allies. I use that term loosely because his hot and cold treatment definately gives me whiplash. The most eccentric of any person I have ever met in my life, that is not what baffles me. My biggest problem with him was his lack of commitment not to the workplace,. but to the staff. But I think over time, it has been improving in my eyes. Not to mention, the attitude that he carries around gives me the sense of feeling that he is not as intelligent as I have made him out to being my head. I feel like I am waiting all the time for him to surprise me and go Ta da! Look Yvette, this is what I am made off! I am really really smart and know what I am doing, I am just going through a stretch of hard times atm, that is why you haven't seen me doing my best work! Everything is super unorganised, from staff rostering to stock take to just generally the essentials that the bar requires. I pick up his slack, even though I do not think this was ever in my job description (fuck, I do not get paid enough to do his job and mine). I ask myself sometimes why I do it, I feel it's not only for the job here, it is most of the time, for the staff. Because at the end of the day, I have fallen so hard for them it's not even funny. They are the best people in the world.
Staff
I have never grown to love people so much than I have at this point in my life today. I never thought I would ever have the capability to love people so much. It was just never in me. I have always said that I would have loved to be a mother but lacked the qualities that would have ever been a great one. I think the 3 months that I have been here have definately changed my opinion on that. This new crew that put up with my shit 24/7, and by that I mean the amount of chops and changed that this place has had to put up with as well. To new schemes, to new rules, to new adherences, without so much as a confrontatioin, but a smile and a hug at the best of times. I will be honest and say that the majority of the reason for why I am still here at the end of the day is because of them. Because even if I have fight after fight with my boss, I come downstairs and see their smiling faces and I know that everything WILL be ok. Because of them. Something that I feel he lacks and will never understand.
Personal life
Completely blank. When it comes to trying to fit this into my schedule these days, I just have no room for it atm. But all will change, because I have holidays coming up soon and I cannot wait to get. the. fuck. out. of. here.
Take care of each other.
Stay alive and kicking people
Happy Easter
Sometimes I get caught up in this whole world that I am being thrusted in that I forget to take the time out to blog and let you in on it. For that I apologise, but trust me, it has been worth your wait.
So, from where I let you in on the last time. I was offered a full time position at Electric Ladyland which I took and had to quit my other job. But it definately came at a price. A price that if someone had told me from the start had existed, I may not have so eagerly taken the offer just like that.
Politics and sabotaging
It did not take long for this to set in. From the first day that I had introduced a new bar scheme into this new work place ( because come on, let's face it. It's what I'm fucking good at), I was met with so much hostility and negativity. Obviously taking the reigns off from someone else that had been there longer, had put me up for the promotion and had always thought that I would be his little lap dog, it did not once occur to me that he would have such a problem with new change being brought in. It all ended with one big screaming match, few complaints to the big boss, alot of snide remarks, public humiliation, and a rumour that he had started spreading that I will never ever forgive him for. If you are reading this, and I hope to god you are, everything that you have worked so hard for in your life, I will take away from you. I am not a hateful person but dear sir, you have brought out the worst in me
Boss
Allies. I use that term loosely because his hot and cold treatment definately gives me whiplash. The most eccentric of any person I have ever met in my life, that is not what baffles me. My biggest problem with him was his lack of commitment not to the workplace,. but to the staff. But I think over time, it has been improving in my eyes. Not to mention, the attitude that he carries around gives me the sense of feeling that he is not as intelligent as I have made him out to being my head. I feel like I am waiting all the time for him to surprise me and go Ta da! Look Yvette, this is what I am made off! I am really really smart and know what I am doing, I am just going through a stretch of hard times atm, that is why you haven't seen me doing my best work! Everything is super unorganised, from staff rostering to stock take to just generally the essentials that the bar requires. I pick up his slack, even though I do not think this was ever in my job description (fuck, I do not get paid enough to do his job and mine). I ask myself sometimes why I do it, I feel it's not only for the job here, it is most of the time, for the staff. Because at the end of the day, I have fallen so hard for them it's not even funny. They are the best people in the world.
Staff
I have never grown to love people so much than I have at this point in my life today. I never thought I would ever have the capability to love people so much. It was just never in me. I have always said that I would have loved to be a mother but lacked the qualities that would have ever been a great one. I think the 3 months that I have been here have definately changed my opinion on that. This new crew that put up with my shit 24/7, and by that I mean the amount of chops and changed that this place has had to put up with as well. To new schemes, to new rules, to new adherences, without so much as a confrontatioin, but a smile and a hug at the best of times. I will be honest and say that the majority of the reason for why I am still here at the end of the day is because of them. Because even if I have fight after fight with my boss, I come downstairs and see their smiling faces and I know that everything WILL be ok. Because of them. Something that I feel he lacks and will never understand.
Personal life
Completely blank. When it comes to trying to fit this into my schedule these days, I just have no room for it atm. But all will change, because I have holidays coming up soon and I cannot wait to get. the. fuck. out. of. here.
Take care of each other.
Stay alive and kicking people
Happy Easter
Sunday, March 27, 2011
R.I.P. Pudding
A shot to the heart, four deep breaths and I felt you go limp in my arms.
My little man, Mummy loves you.
X
Friday, March 11, 2011
You come at a price I'm not willing to pay
I finished work on Saturday night wanting to kill someone. With John passing and the bittersweet emotions that were running through my head as I previously had posted, top it off with having to deal with the rantings of R when she was off her head, it definitely was a little too much. As I watched her throw herself around and flop herself over my boss’s lap, smacking people across the head, I felt like I was watching everything in slow motion.
And then it clicked to me.
I am not invincible and I cannot save everyone.
Sure I give everyone that advice, I tell people that it is ok to let someone down once in a while, its ok to not always be there for someone. I mean we can’t be everyone and everywhere 24/7. But the rule never really applied to me, I was the exception in my head. I could save everybody.
No I cannot. And I accept that. Well, I am trying to.
So, all I wanted to do on Saturday night after work was to go home to bed. Of course, instead I went out dancing. Top nights.
On my way home, I was dropping off Troy, my bar manager, banging guy, love him to bits. Talking about life, talking about price. How some people were just not worth the price.
I guess the hard part was pretending. Pretending that I didn’t know, only because I really loved these 2 guys. There were such rad dudes to me, the hurt that I could see on their faces.
And then he said to me
“ It isn’t my job to take care of people’s feelings, I’m there to make the place make money.”
How selfish.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Extreme
I caught up with my good friend Lexi today at Workshop bar. It’s always good to see her, she is pretty much the only other person that I find that will get me at my wave length. My last week has been pretty tough. From adjusting to full time work and more, a good friend passing away, passing all my subjects, getting offered a PHD scholarship, new jobs, sleeping with my new boss...Life was pretty full on, even for me.
The hard part was bouncing from one extreme to the other. From John passing to feeling the relief of graduation to that being stripped from me when they mess up the dates of my graduation (arghhh).If this is what it is like to be an adult then I really have to buy myself some insurance. I was an absolute WRECK the last week. I must have looked like some sort of drugged up junkie just on a high and then crash real quick without an warning. My day of rest on Sunday was amazing though, it’s good when I sleep, I feel that because I don’t do it too often enough that my body absolutely appreciates it. And I do understand and give in when I feel that I absolutely need it. I woke up feeling a lot better, but it wasn’t till Monday that when I came home and finally accepted that John was gone, and cried, that I feel somewhat like myself again.
I guess it’s also important to not let work consume my life, even though it is the bulk of my life, I cannot neglect my writing (which has always been my saviour to many obstacles) and to always try and keep goals in focus.
On Saturday, I agreed to meet strangers in a stranger’s apartment and pose for photos. Profile shots to be blown up and stuck all around Melbourne’s alleyways. It really is not as creepy as it sounds, what a cool concept and I was so happy to have been part of it. How it all even began was a little bit random in itsel. Some guy added me on fb and private msged me the details, I watched the video, thought it was cool and called him and voila.
Kids, don’t think this is ok to do with every stranger. Because I was probably the lucky one out of the lot. Plus, I took a friend, and checked out the guys profile like there was no tomorrow.
Simon, the person whose apartment that we shot it at, had an awesome story to pass on about his father. That I will save for another post in itself, as it deserves recognition as a short story.
Hope everyone is doing well and taking care of each other.
The hard part was bouncing from one extreme to the other. From John passing to feeling the relief of graduation to that being stripped from me when they mess up the dates of my graduation (arghhh).If this is what it is like to be an adult then I really have to buy myself some insurance. I was an absolute WRECK the last week. I must have looked like some sort of drugged up junkie just on a high and then crash real quick without an warning. My day of rest on Sunday was amazing though, it’s good when I sleep, I feel that because I don’t do it too often enough that my body absolutely appreciates it. And I do understand and give in when I feel that I absolutely need it. I woke up feeling a lot better, but it wasn’t till Monday that when I came home and finally accepted that John was gone, and cried, that I feel somewhat like myself again.
I guess it’s also important to not let work consume my life, even though it is the bulk of my life, I cannot neglect my writing (which has always been my saviour to many obstacles) and to always try and keep goals in focus.
On Saturday, I agreed to meet strangers in a stranger’s apartment and pose for photos. Profile shots to be blown up and stuck all around Melbourne’s alleyways. It really is not as creepy as it sounds, what a cool concept and I was so happy to have been part of it. How it all even began was a little bit random in itsel. Some guy added me on fb and private msged me the details, I watched the video, thought it was cool and called him and voila.
Kids, don’t think this is ok to do with every stranger. Because I was probably the lucky one out of the lot. Plus, I took a friend, and checked out the guys profile like there was no tomorrow.
Simon, the person whose apartment that we shot it at, had an awesome story to pass on about his father. That I will save for another post in itself, as it deserves recognition as a short story.
Hope everyone is doing well and taking care of each other.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Fat
I usually speak to my bar manager about twice a week on the phone to pretty much discuss the events of the bar and gather what we are going to do for the next big events etc. But lately, we have been speaking more often given recent happenings and the place of work has started to become a bloody scene from "passions".
Today, the conversation lead to one of my favourite dancers soon to be laid off because she was getting too "fat". X is seriously one of the most beautiful, genuine and sincere people I have gotten to know in this life and we have become fast stead friends in recent months. However, due to personal problems, she has started a course of antidepressants and that has not been good for her physical health as she has started to put on some weight. Apparently, it has gotten to the point whereby her naked body has become too "unsightly" for the majority of "fine" gentlemen that visit the bar.
X has a mortgage and a son. How is she suppose to fend for herself when she gets laid off?
Fat.
Every woman's insecurity. What happens when insecurity becomes reality.
Being a runner, I constantly have to watch what I eat. Last Friday, I did a sponsered beach run. I came in 5th and when the 1st, 2nd 3rd, 4th and 7th place got picked to do a Nike sponsered run and not me, my trainer comes bak to inform me that they didn't feel that I had the right look for the run. I asked him what they meant.
"Vet, they think you are too fat."
Granted, Im not skinny. I have a slow metabolism hence I can never eat Carbs when Im in running season. But for god's sakes! You are going to pick the 7th place runner instead of me? Me...that clocked in 12km in an hour.
And for that split second, I actually felt stung.
I remember heading over to Geelong to meet up with my friends and telling them the events of the day and at one point being asked why I watched what I eat all the time. Well simple, because I need to stay in the weight zone of 65kgs and I have a slow metabolism which means I cannot burn of carbs as fast as other people. On top of that, I can't have extra weight on me when I run. So, I have done all that is possible for me to stay fit. Is this not enough?
YES. It is enough. Because if you are told ladies that despite your abilities, you are judged upon your appearance, then fuck them. Stand up for yourself and be strong. Because the last thing you want is to set this example for the little girls of the future generation.
Until my next rant. x
Monday, January 24, 2011
Your long awaited response.
I struggled even at the thought of writing. Funny that. That’s the extent of what you did to me.
I wrote this to you here because I know you read this. I know you enough to know that should I reply to your emails, you will write another one and the last thing I want is to see any part of you attempting some form of communication with me after what you did. And you comment, everyone that reads this will know who you are. Even you are not that stupid.
Your apologies mean nothing to me. Nothing at all. I am a forgiving person, you know this. I love my friends, more than life itself and would do anything for them. You know this. I held you in my arms when you cried about this months before, I warned you, I stood by you, I even took a hit literally for you. Yet I still protected you, shielded you and kept everything you said for you. Why? Because you were my friend and friends stand by each other.
I took a risk for you. Against everything, against my own head. For you.
You stabbed me in the back to the one person that you knew could potentially hurt me and my family. All for your selfish needs.
“I love him Yvette”- Not good enough
“I’m sorry Yvette”- Not good enough
“You don’t understand what its like to be in love”- Not good enough
“I over reacted with my emotions”- Not good enough
“I just want everything to go back to the way it was.”
Grow up. Your 32.
Not. Fucking. Good. Enough.
Why?
1.) Your 32. Never mind me, Your jealousy almost ruined a 23 year old girl’s life. She never did anything to you. You weren’t the apple of his eye anymore and that caused you to spread lies. You know who else did that? No body. Your one in a million. How does it feel? Did you really think that you could have a future? You know what, I don’t even care what you thought. I bet it’s something stupid.
2.) I’m your friend. You used me as bait.
3.) You knew he could just as easily come after my family. By that I mean my sister. Not cool when you get my family involved. Hurt turns to anger.
4.) Your 32. These mistakes should not be mistakes. My own dog can tell the difference between left and right. But then again, my dog doesn’t beg either.
5.) You have no dignity. And you have proven it time after time.
So.
When I said to you I never want to see your face again. Ever. That included hearing from you. No messages, no emails, no skype. No, nothing.
To sum it up. Your apology is not accepted. When you come to Melbourne, you go out of your way to avoid me. When I get to London, you make sure I do not bump into you.
One more email /text/phone call from you, and I will make your life hell. I swear to god I will. You so much as even think about coming near my family, I will inform yours of your escapades. I will inform your work of them too. I will ruin everything you have worked so hard for. You know I can.
Leave me alone. Take this as closure. Or hate mail. I don't really give a damn. Time will not make it better, but it will make me forget you even existed.
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