In the night, i hear them talk

The coldest story ever told

somewhere far along this road

he lost his soul.

To a woman so heartless.

Erin

“Ma am, what would you like to drink?”

“Double vodka on the rocks please?” she replied.

Fuck, what the hell am I doing on this plane? She thought to herself as she stared blankly as the steward pours her drink.

Seriously, what did she think is going to happen when she reached Kiev? There will be noone waiting for her at the airport, there isn’t anybody that she could reach. All she had was the tattered piece of paper that she torn off in a frenzy to copy the name of the hospital that she gotten in a reply.

“I blew off my fucking interview for this?” she thought as she took a big sip of the spirit that almost at once coursed through her chest eminating warmth.

How did she expect his reaction is going to be when she got there? Did she expect to be received by his mother? By his friends? For Christs sakes, they probably do not even know that she existed.

But how could she not? For the first time in her life, she knew what love felt like. The one person that she could cry to over the phone every night as she went through her miserable life, trying to find meaning as to what her existence in this world would bring. The one person whom she felt ashamed to give herself physically to even though he was the only person who made her feel attraction the way a man is suppose to make a woman feel. The same person who dropped off the face of the earth just like that. One day, no more contact. The same person who caused her to cry herself to sleep for months on end. The one person who made her contemplate jumping off the West gate Bridge one particularly low Thursday as she made her way into the city.

Whatever, she was way pass all this now.

She just needed to know the truth.

She just needed to see him.

She buckled her seatbelt in as she saw the mandatory flashing lights came on.

“ Ladies and Gentlemen, it has been a pleasure flying with you and we wish you a pleasant journey. The current local time is 4.35 in the morning with the weather presently sitting at 15 degrees. Unfortunately we are presently experiencing some turbulence and the landing has been currently delayed. The captain will keep you posted as we reach closer to ground. ”

Great

Come on Mother fuckers, is this the best you have got. She thought to herself as the descent began.

Susie

She opened the door only to be greeted by a blast of cold air. Pulling her thin cashmere coat tighter around her, she walked into the street surrounded by the hustle and bustle of city goers. “Why the rush” she wondered. If only they knew how unimportant and meaningless the activities of their job today would be. If only they stopped for a second, just for a second and reflected upon their meaningless haste. Maybe they would see that their so called jobs, so called life, so called home was not what they really wanted.

“Life’s too short” she thought.

Life’s too short to be dancing with fat chicks.

At least now u know what you are worth.

This was never meant to happen, you deserve more than that.

Sometimes it just isn’t fair.

What you feel is real.

She walked faster and was happy to reach the corner of the street. She turned into an empty alley and slowed down.  She looked up into the sky and wondered if they all could see her. Could anyone see her at all?

“Stop it.” She thought.

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

She paused before turning around back to the street. She slowed down her pace. Starting to focus on her breathing. There was no need to fret. Hasn’t she already been through enough for a lifetime. Surely this would be the fresh start that she needed. Surely she could get pass this moment. She had been through heavier moments.
“You have to love yourself before anybody can love u baby.”

She stopped and stared into the side mirror of the Prada store. For the first time, she recognised the girl who stared back. There was no sadness, just the look of a person who had been there and done that. Was there room for more?

She turned away.

Yes there was room. For better experiences, for worst experiences, for pain, for love, for isolation, for moments of desperation, for panic attacks, for hunger, for knowledge, for hope and even for faith.

There was room. There had to be.

Everything that had passed was just that. It was passed. There would be more to come. This time, she will be stronger. She was young. Young but ready.

Come on mother fuckers. Is this the best you have got? Is that all you can throw?

 

Affairs of the heart.

Long gone are the affairs of the heart and in comes the pages from the mind.  Sometimes I wonder whether I am just a walking pen who etches page by page into a novel. Its with everystep I walk and every move I make that I come closer to finishing my compilation. 

With one swift move, i thought my heart was shattered again...but it wasn't....

funny how your mind plays tricks like that on you.